What are the signs of a good relationship? I wonder. It all begins great and everything begins to look perfect. I am perfect for him, he is perfect for me and what we have is perfect.Some where down the road one takes the other for granted, one does not give the other the respect.Its like they stop thinking for eachother.Do all intimate relationships gradually develop flaws with time? If yes why? What causes the bug?
Two people in love, how ever strong they may be are weak only for eachother and they give in. They let go of everything that is exclusively themslves to create that which is for both. That giving in is infact the beauty of an intimate relationship and it stays beautiful as long as the two appreciate it as love for one another. It all turns sour once either of them sees this other peerson's love for them as their weakness and tends to take them for granted and shows disrespect to their individuality and ego. The bug then has made its home.
Its like they say, falling in love is easy, staying in it is the toughest. It happens before you realise but to keep it that way it requires for the person to make a conscious effort to keep the love and respect for the one he loves intact. Its very tricky in a way if you look at it. Say I am in a relationship. If I am the kind who becomes weak and vulnerable when I am with the man I love I am taken for granted and the love is lost and instead if I am assertive and want to keep my self-respect and individuality automatically there is a gap created which causes a rift in the rlationship. So my question. Whats the solution or rather the secret to a fulfilling relationship where both love one another and also respect eachother and how can it stay that way? For me this is like the biggest unsolved mystery and this trick situation is most common in the mother of all relationships, marriage;-)
Disclaimer:These were only my thoughts and i do not wish to or intend to depress, diappoint or scare anyone in the process.:-)
p.s- image is from the internet, not mine.
12 comments:
nice thoughts.. n yea finally ur shoutbox is back :clap :clap :clap
Oh exactly. That is about any relationship - Friends, Mates, Parents and it continues. However the whole idea is about persisting with the person in the high and low and being more communicative and trying to make an effort. Coz this, to me, is the first step for a relationship else where to attract - Fatal attraction, when we find someone who is willing to give you that ear and make you feel wanted.
Happens in all schema of life I would think. How we come out of it, solely depends on the man and the woman, together.
hey Abhi thank you:-)..and now that th shout box is there drop messages for me:-)
@ Vik- I read ur post on sorta the same topic..or shud i say ur post is the eventuality to my post:-). Thank you soo much for visiting. I appreciate your comment and point of view.
Yea I kinda figure we were there breathing on each others neck without knowing :-) Perhaps we posted the note on the same day too.
Thanks for your note as well and guess what I so liked what you said. I might take the liberty to blogroll you.
@ Vik- We definitely speak the same language:-)
Shruti u just managed to put my wandering thoughts into neat pack of one post that sums up all. Dear i myself have no answer & i really really wanna know why this happens, how to mend the cracks, how to handle crisis in relationships..i guess even a PhD on this subject won't suffice ;)
@ Annie- We have no answers annie...but it feels nice when like minded come together and second eachothers opinions. Ans I am so glad we think in th same lines too.
Very well put, my experiences out from your pen. Staying in love is toughest and maintaining it and sustaining it is even more harder.
What i think to sustain a marriage or relation is to be yourself n give space, have no place for egos and keep finding pleasures in small things and do many things together.
Wonderful post altogether.
very true..nice post!!
@Ashu- Thank you soo much for your words ashu. Now i know why we blog and how good it feels when we share stuff with people who know what we r saying:-)
@Invincible- Thank you:-)
Hi shruti,
these feelings are part of that mystery.. i have a quote from Rumi. I just love it.
"When it comes to love, I have to be silent.
To describe love, intellect is like an ass in the morass,
the Pen breaks when it is to describe Love"
Rumi, quoted in Annmarie Schimmel's As Through a Veil, p.101.
unsolved mystry
yes
this is love
its easy to solve but once you enter in this thing there is no way out
who sucseed they get it but who dont sucseed they get more than any one this is the mystry of love..
try it and i am sure you will love this
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