Bounce back!

She had walked into this Diner hundreds of times and each time was a memory engrained in her mind and heart. Each moment she spent with him was more precious than every other moment in her life and she treasured them with love. Locked glances,locked hands and refleections of smiles on the glass table top. Rain made the date sensual and sun filled it with blithe. Be it rain or sun each day was perfect. Maybe too perfect to last.

Today when she stepped into that diner, the sun was hurting, the place felt alien and the strangers stared at her like they were taunting her. Nothing seemed to give her joy anymore. Her world crumbled to dust around her. Her life so far was after all just a beautiful dream and waking up meant realizing she has nothing to live for. But she also knew he did not deserve dying for.

Deserting her was the most cowardly thing he could have done. All he has for her is an apology. An apology, he expects, would heal the heartbreak and the devastation she is experiencing. He assums a 'sorry' can wipe away every dream that they ever dreamt together and make the years of love and vows disappear. How can he not notice the pain in her eyes and the scars on her heart that no apology can undo?

She walked towards the table by the window and sat there all by herself, her hands clasping the warm mug of coffee. It was so not her to feel weak and lost. She was determined to win over her losing heart. As she sat there she exprienced an overwhelming power. Power that was within and all around her. That instant she knew it was time to let go and move on. Her life was more precious and she was much stronger than any forgettable disaster. The strength came from within and the voice came from the depths of her soul shouting out to her that all she needed was herself.

Her hands came together and the strength she gave herself was phonomenal. That day she walked out of that Diner with new vigor and a renewed spirit.

A Hopeless Romantic

1. Always writes poems of love and pain.
2. Gets nostalgic and browses through old pictures and mails at least once a day.
3. Has tears when watching a touchy scene.
4. Loves getting drenched in rain.
5. Listens to all the music that has memories attached to it.
6. Calls friends and tells them that they are missed very often.
7. Craves for hugs and flowers.
8. Is capable of scaring and suffocating people with love.
9. Knows the words of favorite songs and sings along every time they are played.
10. Believes in forever and for a lifetime.

Truth about our existance

Yesterday I was watching and interview and the interviewee, a celebrity used the word 'fluid' to describe humans and their existance. I felt that was the most appropriate way one could decribe our lives. We take shape of the role we play.After years of assuming shapes expected by people around us we tend to forget who we are. Somewhere down the road there is nothing that describes us 'Exclusive'.

Life ofcourse would be meaningless without the people around us and I am not complaining.If not for them we would lead a totally shapeless life. I am just thinking aloud about what happens gradually with our lives as we pass eachday making everyone around us happy. Life is good and I could not whine but there was always a missing aspect that we all try to put a finger on but are never able to figure out what it is. The missing aspect could be best described as 'a lack of shape of our own'.

On a positive note being 'fluid' is less painful than being 'play dough';-)

p.s Image Courtesy,The Internet not me:-(

Gimmeabreak!!!

I will be very honest..I have been trying to write a post for almost an hour now and have left two drafts incomplete...nothing seems to be doing it for me..Today is one of those...'**** It'...Extra crappy days..but I will be frank..and copy paste my previous two incomplete efforts here...

Freedom is a myth..
The prisoner cries,
Where is my exit!
The soul a prisoner of the skin
And skin a prisoner of the world.
And there are times when we all cry,
Where is my exit?!

Then I thought thats too *ing depressing not fair throwing this on you guys and then I was reminded of what my mom said about positive thinking and positive appraoch to life just this morning and so tried that....

What's light without the dark
What's clour without black.
When life pushes me to the exit
These little things help me come back.
My days dont come with a silver lining
But I'm a believer.

But that was not helping too..so decided the next best thing is to be honest with you guys and here I am and already feeling better...Thank you guys for listening:-)

Id Mubarak and Happy Dusshera!:-)

First of all Wish you all a Very Happy Id and Dussera. Right now I have only one thing on my mind and that is how festive apun ka Hyderabad must be at this time. I soo badly miss being there. The shopping, the haleem,the biryani, the lights, the loud speakers and all the wonderful things. Ofcourse I should not complain too much because..thanks to th wonderful Indian Community around here and the amazing friends here we had a memorable Id dinner and it some how made up for thee fact that I was not in Hyderabad. Wishing all of you a great festive season.

Images from the Internet.

Unsolved Mystery

What are the signs of a good relationship? I wonder. It all begins great and everything begins to look perfect. I am perfect for him, he is perfect for me and what we have is perfect.Some where down the road one takes the other for granted, one does not give the other the respect.Its like they stop thinking for eachother.Do all intimate relationships gradually develop flaws with time? If yes why? What causes the bug?
Two people in love, how ever strong they may be are weak only for eachother and they give in. They let go of everything that is exclusively themslves to create that which is for both. That giving in is infact the beauty of an intimate relationship and it stays beautiful as long as the two appreciate it as love for one another. It all turns sour once either of them sees this other peerson's love for them as their weakness and tends to take them for granted and shows disrespect to their individuality and ego. The bug then has made its home.
Its like they say, falling in love is easy, staying in it is the toughest. It happens before you realise but to keep it that way it requires for the person to make a conscious effort to keep the love and respect for the one he loves intact. Its very tricky in a way if you look at it. Say I am in a relationship. If I am the kind who becomes weak and vulnerable when I am with the man I love I am taken for granted and the love is lost and instead if I am assertive and want to keep my self-respect and individuality automatically there is a gap created which causes a rift in the rlationship. So my question. Whats the solution or rather the secret to a fulfilling relationship where both love one another and also respect eachother and how can it stay that way? For me this is like the biggest unsolved mystery and this trick situation is most common in the mother of all relationships, marriage;-)

Disclaimer:These were only my thoughts and i do not wish to or intend to depress, diappoint or scare anyone in the process.:-)
p.s- image is from the internet, not mine.

Things that make me go :-)

Flowers for me:-)
Playing peek-a-boo with my eleven month old.
When I get phone calls to tell me I am missed.
Close dancing with him to Richard Marx.
Watching an episode of Friends.
An A grade on my son's report.
Small yet sweet surprises.
When he tries cooking for a sunday lunch.
Waching Bryan Adams live.
And definitely getting comments from y'all:-)

The hard way...

I Knew people came into eachothers life for a purpose..
I did not know that they would leave or let go after the pupose was done.
I knew joy lingers in my heart..
I did not know pain lingers longer.
I knew a smile could make a difference,
I did not know my tears would mean nothing at all.
I knew that I can love someone more eachday
I did not know they could love me less with each passing day.
I knew life had more lessons for me
I did not know I had to learn them all the hard way...

Visitor of the Night...

The handsome moon on a milky night,
Playin peek-a-boo, now here and now out of sight.