The week that was..and the life that is.

The entire last week has been depressing but also has lead to some soul-searching in its own way... The inevitable death and the life that happens before it... It's during times like these that the reality hits you...and you come to an awakening of how precious time is and this is what I told myself...
...... that I shall make the most of my every minute here and I will grab every opportunity to make the journey worthwhile..I shall leave no place for procrastination. I will realize my purpose here unconditionally.
I dont control death nor do I decide the place and time but I will do everthing I can before it knocks to be able to face it with pride and contentment...

My Stay

Give me the strength

To survive this day.

Every breath I take

Is a gift along the way.

I would like to tell you

How I used it and dint just throw it away.

Be my guru

And guide me through the way.

Allow me to do what I must

Till the end of my stay.

Worst fears....

It is overwhelming, the fear, the anger, the shock and the helplessness that choke me seeing the scary images of people dead and people who survived but are hurt and bleeding...all were people like us...leading simple lives unfortunately at that fateful place at that fateful hour only wanting to spend an evening out with family...The thought that such a horror can occur at such unsuspecting places and I could have been one of them is scary.

There have been so many bomb blasts in the country in the past years and the frequency is only growing.Incidents happen within a span of few months. With each such incident fears grow...anger is welling inside...and the helplessness is frustrating.

What will it take to stop such a thing from happening again? When will the people who kill stop making innocent people scape goats for their own ends? Where is the end? I have no answer and that is scary.

Is there an end to this or will this go on till the END!

Tujhse kya gila.

Toot ke bikhra hua woh lamha

mere aasuon mein sama na saka

Khoobsurat woh har pal

Apne zehen se utaar na saka.

Makhmal se bhi mulaayam tera muskurana

dekhe bagair reh na saka

Khud ko paya wafa ke us maqaam par

Chaah ke bhi tujhse gila kar na saka.

My needs;-)

Canon EOS 400D / Digital Rebel XTi
Tamron AF70-300mm F/4-5.6 Di LD Macro Lens with hood


:-)....They are totally sexy and the results are sexier.....I will have to Own these babies someday soon to take my love for photography to the next level....

Give me a sign..

A simple Hello!

Is all I am waiting for.

A call on my phone

Or a knock on my door.

Everything around me

Motionless and still.

Lonelinss within me

Is surely out to kill.

Give me a sign,

A whisper if you will.

Come and bring with you life.

Touch me to tell me i'm alive.

Welcoming the horror:-)

Last night we along with a couple of other friends surprised another friend who is expecting her first baby anytime now with a baby shower party. We kinda planned that her husband would take her out for a couple of hours and meanwhile we would decorate her place. We filled her home with glittering banners, streamers and pink and blue baloons. A cake, a gift and a variety of her favorite foods set on her table....we darkend the house and took her by surprise when she came home:-)...

She almost had tears of joy in her eyes...we all laughed, hugged, took pictures and were happy for her and her husband...it was all very touchy and beautiful....until...we began to give her a glimpse of the beautiful nightmare that was in store for them just. She knew what she was getting into when she saw me with my 9 month old daughter.

But then this is one nightmare we love having:-)

My Room

As the refreshing breeze of knowledge,

Blows away the dust of ignorance,

From the fluttering pages of my minds book,

Which reslessly rests,

Under the lamp of my heart,

And on the table of tradition.

I feel my thought being cleansed,

And experience the sublime fragrance of the spirit.

I am blessed he cleaned my room,

And is now resting on the bed of my soul.

Whats age gotto do?!!

Ok a conversation..more like a discussion I had with a friend inspired me to write this post...
He asked me 'Shruti, how do you think life would be at 40? Would it be better or worse?' ...to give you a background before narrating any further..both of us generally talk about how good life was when we were still in college before marriage,kids and responsibilities happened...so with that scenario in mind he asked me the question...
And I answered, 'What has age got to do with the way our lives go?...Our responsibilities, the attitude of our substantial halves, our life situation and opportunities are what decide our freedom and the flavor of life in general....so life could suck at 25 or rock at 50....age has got nothing to do with it'
And ofcourse then I gave him and also myself a peek into what life would be like personally for me 10 years down the lane..I would actually have more time for myself...I think:-)(no harm in that:-P)....kids would be more grown up and hopefully easier to manage...and I would be back in hyderabad...where my heart is..and I would set out to do things that make me happy and spend more time doing what my heart longs to.....not that my today is bad...but thats how I think it would be 10 years from now...looks good dont you think;-)

'I am happy'

If any of you watch 'Frasier'..you will know how wonderful that show is. This day, this radio psychiatrist, is having coffe with his brother Niles at Cafe Nervosa, and during the entire episode Niles asks Frasier if he is happy and that gets Frasier thinking about his life..the fact that he is still single with no woman to share his life with, and the fear of having to spend his future living with his son like he is right now with his dad. Inspite of it all he finds joy in his life that he cannot name and learns that there is no one who is really free of worries. Everybody has their share of difficult life, he realises.

The most beautiful part is when he wears his smile of acceptance and contentment and tells Niles that... in the larger scheme of things... he is happy indeed:-)

Beautiful memory..

Moist memories of you and

misty 'what if' thoughts.

All that time has held for me

and all that I know I have lost.

There are days that I cling on to,

and the 'you' in them that I hold on to.

You are now but a beautiful memory

And that is what you will always be.

Khushi...

Chand barson baad roshni laaya,

Baagh mein har gulab khila nazar aaya.

Aaine mein chehra muddat baad muskaya,

Woh phir yaadon se nikal ke mera hakeekat banne chala aaya.

Back after a holiday:-)

The past three days were spent with my brother in law and his wife holidaying. It was quite a bunch with us, them and the kids. It feels good to have family over...a feeling of belongingness and togetherness. It was three days of long drives, family lunches, and taking lots of pictures to freeze the special moments, making memories, seeing beautiful places...a lot of making up for the times we missed being together. All in a refreshing weekend and kids also had a great time with their uncle and aunt.

Grease is the word!

It's a forever favorite! and today I was watching it..yet again. It still is as fresh as ever, Danny's walk, Sandy's smile, the drive in romance, girls havin a blast at the sleepover, the dance, the Greased lightning car, the car race and Sandy sewn into her famous black pants..its true:-)

It makes you want to turn nineteen again and have girl fun, flirt till hearts content and kiss cute boys:-P

The Best Love Song ever...

'Wicked Little High' by Bird York

You're a wrong turn
a big fat No
you're the fifth drink before a long drive home
you're the thing to avoid
the bars to my cage
you're all I think about everyday
you've got that thing that my wildest dreams are made of
you set my world on fire
I die everytime you walk by
I can't hide that I'm drawn to you
Desire is such a wicked little high
when the one you want is blind to you

you're the third scoop
the second pack you're the reason for therapy
why I should go back Hey Mister Wrong
you're the tingle in my jeans
you're everything I don't want but everything I need
I see other guys but their kisses don't mean nothin'
'cause you're what I have in mind I
die everytime you walk by
I can't hide that I'm drawn to you
Desire is such a wicked little high
when the one you want is blind to you
you're a wrong turn
a big fat No
you're the fifth drink before a long drive